Shut Your Mouth and Hug Your Wife

When a woman starts crying, a man will do just about anything he can to make it stop. He flips into crisis mode like he’s discovered a leaking water main in the basement. If he can’t get the water shut off, everything he has will be totally ruined. He says things and does things in a panic.

What happened? Who hurt you? I’ll go and beat up whoever you need me to!

Did I do something wrong? I wasn’t even here. How on earth did I do something to make you this upset when I wasn’t even in the room?

Is it that time of the month again already? Do you need me to go get chocolate and Advil?

We turn into maniacs, spewing out nonsense all in hopes that we’ll hit the magic button that shuts off the tears.

But the woman just sits there.

Sobbing.

No response. And we have nothing in our training as a man that has taught us how to respond properly.

Men are fixers by nature. If there is an issue, we want to solve it. And I’ve always been told that in these moments women don’t want to be fixed, they just want to be heard. But I’ve never experienced anything that “fixes” the tears so quickly as long hug and a few moments of silence together. If and when she’s ready, she might share why she’s upset. She might not. All I know is that the crying stopped.

A hug and some silence.

It’s the magic button that makes the tears go away.

Women feel heard.
Men - you fixed the leak.