A Vanilla Latte Kind of Man

I don’t like fishing, & I would be hard pressed to pick a miter saw out of a saw line up.

But...
I have been to a Taylor Swift concert & my “go to” treat drink at Starbucks is a Grande Skinny Vanilla Latte

However...
I do like sports, drink my coffee black and completed an ironman triathlon.
Does that mean I’m still a man?

The struggle to figure out what is male and what is female has never been more difficult. People are struggling, feeling like they are trapped inside the body of the wrong gender. In my years of counselling and youth work I have sat with countless individuals who agonize over the idea that their gender doesn’t match with what they have been taught their gender should feel like… act like… even sound like.

It’s never a good idea to generalize or minimize complex issues, however what if a large factor in gender confusion is simply the fact that we have tried to define “male” and “female” beyond what “male” and “female” actually means. It’s sad to think how many individuals our society has caused deep emotional distress because we told them that certain feelings and certain habits are more or less manly than others

Dwayne Johnson, The Rock, the action film star, the man with muscles larger than my head. He is a man.

But so is Broadway star Josh Groban, child author Robert Munsch.

Men can be tough.  But men can also be soft.

Men can be self sufficient, and men need close friends.

Men should be able to be silly, cry, laugh, be tough.

In fact a well-rounded man should be able to embrace all kinds of emotions, expressions and feelings. Obviously most individuals don’t embody grit and grace at the same time, neither one is more manly.

Same can be said for women. Why is Kate Hudson more womanly that Ronda Rousy or Ellen Degeneres? Women can be princesses, just as much as they can be fighters just as much as they can be comedians.

The beauty of our world is that not everyone turns out to be the same as everyone else. Instead of being afraid of men and women who don’t fit into the box this society deems male and female, why don’t we celebrate our diversity rather than shame each other into conformity. Is it possible that an archaic mindset on gender roles have helped to ostracize the millions of humans beings that wake up every morning not wanting to be told that how they feel, and how they act is “wrong”? They may not be confused about their gender as much as they as they are confused about why they are told who they are doesn't fit into their gender.