Giving Out Advice That Nobody Wants to Hear

Negative Advice Givers.

You know these people.

A lot of their sentences start with the phrase, 

“You know… there’s a better way to do that.”

They might start with good intentions, but it always comes out like criticism.

Many of these negative people actually have good ideas and could be extremely helpful, it’s just that no one wants to listen to them because they’re just…

Well they’re just negative.

“Here - you’re doing it wrong. Let me show you the most effective way.”

Negative advice givers come in all forms.

            - Parents

            - Friends

            - Bosses

These people violate two cardinal rules for teaching or mentoring

1) A NEGATIVE ADVICE GIVER MAY HAVE MISJUDGED YOUR DESIRE FOR ADVICE.

They forget that you may actually want to try it your way first. Trial and error is one of the most concrete ways to pick up new skills. They’re giving you good information and are actually looking out for your best interest, trying to save you from error. But they are forgetting that the very reason they know the lesson so well is that it was them had to learn it through trial and error in the first place. Trial and error is not always a bad thing. Once burned, twice shy.

2) NOT EVERYONE IS WELL POSITIONED TO GIVE OUT ADVICE TO EVERYONE ELSE.

If a negative person is constantly criticizing you, it’s highly unlikely that you’re looking to them when you want help. People seek out those that believe in them, that respect them, and that focus on problem solving rather than pointing out error. This makes it tough for a negative person to help be part of the solution even when they have the best advice or solution.

Proverbs 11:10 said it this way:, “When good people succeed,the city is happy. When evil people die, there are shouts of joy.

We all fall into this trap at times. We see someone doing something wrong, that we know how to do right, but we just blow it when it comes to lending a hand.

Instead of starting off by saying, “I love helping with home projects, can you tell me a little about what your doing here?” we go in pig headed and say “I’m really good at home projects, can I show you a few things you’re doing wrong?

One is an invitation to let the person explain what they know, and might be followed by a question help.

The other tells the person they suck and you don’t. Which person would you rather work with.

Listen, we all know you are smart, skilled and ready to help.

Let’s just all try to find a better way of offering our expertise to the world.