Every year we play the same game.
We set goals. We're determined to live life differently this year than the last.
We are really good for a few days, and it feels like we can do this.
Then things start to get tough, and change feels like a struggle.
Eventually, after a few weeks, we are back to the same habits that frustrated us at the end of last year.
So how do we go about making New Years Resolutions that we can actually keep?
It gets easier if you start to understand how your brain works.
The brain is separated into two distinct regions.
The lower brain (limbic), which is responsible for keeping you alive. It helps you breathe, sleep, eat, and react to danger. Much of this work is automatic, beneath our consciousness. It's emotional and reactionary.
The upper brain (cortex) helps you make rational choices. It's where we make logical decisions. It's where we learn to delay gratification, and how we can find self-fulfilment from our jobs, relationships and hobbies. It's significantly larger and more powerful in humans than in any other mammal. It's literally what separates humans from animals. Sadly, too many of us live day to day making important decisions with bottom-up thinking, relying on instinct and emotion.
That's because thinking in the lower brain is fast and easy. Many times automatic. It makes us feel good because it satisfies an urge. Upper brain thinking is slow and methodical and takes a little work, but helps us achieve goals.
Learning to think top-down, is the key to making life changes, and making changes that stick.
Fortunately, there are ways we can train ourselves to increasingly rely on the Upper Brain function.
1) WORK THAT MUSCLE.
OK - the brain isn't exactly a muscle, but exercising different parts of your brain make them stronger. Even spending 30 minutes a day working out the Upper brain can make a difference.
There are some really easy ways to work the upper brain. Read a non-fiction book, 30 minutes straight in a distraction-free environment. Meditate or journal your thoughts. Do some computer coding. Anything requires us to focus thought in an ordered way, works out the upper regions of our brain.
2) MAKE A PLAN
Making a plan in and of itself is a way to exercise your upper brain, but having a schedule sure does help in keeping resolutions. Make sure the plan is realistic for you, and then review it every day, taking time to remind yourself of what your schedule is, and making adjustments as needed.
3) KEEP A JOURNAL
No one can make a change without a few slip-ups along the way. Failure isn't something to worry about either, but reflecting on which days we were successful and which ones we weren't can help us start to see patterns. It could be that certain people or days of the week make us more or less successful, and we can start to plan to adjust accordingly.
Humans have over 7000 thoughts a day, and fewer than 2500 of them are true or important. We will never be able to make big life changes without going through a little pain/struggle... and that includes a thought struggle. Start off the New Year with a brain work out. Make time and space to challenge an automatic thought, urge or reaction that is seemingly important. You might be surprised how it doesn't fit in your plan and takes you away from your goal. Learning to increasingly think top-down isn't just for changing bad habits. It helps in almost every part of our lives from work to relationships, to even faith. Make 2018 an top-down kind of year.
We set goals. We're determined to live life differently this year than the last.
We are really good for a few days, and it feels like we can do this.
Then things start to get tough, and change feels like a struggle.
Eventually, after a few weeks, we are back to the same habits that frustrated us at the end of last year.
So how do we go about making New Years Resolutions that we can actually keep?
It gets easier if you start to understand how your brain works.The brain is separated into two distinct regions.
The lower brain (limbic), which is responsible for keeping you alive. It helps you breathe, sleep, eat, and react to danger. Much of this work is automatic, beneath our consciousness. It's emotional and reactionary.
The upper brain (cortex) helps you make rational choices. It's where we make logical decisions. It's where we learn to delay gratification, and how we can find self-fulfilment from our jobs, relationships and hobbies. It's significantly larger and more powerful in humans than in any other mammal. It's literally what separates humans from animals. Sadly, too many of us live day to day making important decisions with bottom-up thinking, relying on instinct and emotion.
That's because thinking in the lower brain is fast and easy. Many times automatic. It makes us feel good because it satisfies an urge. Upper brain thinking is slow and methodical and takes a little work, but helps us achieve goals.
Learning to think top-down, is the key to making life changes, and making changes that stick.
Fortunately, there are ways we can train ourselves to increasingly rely on the Upper Brain function.
1) WORK THAT MUSCLE.
OK - the brain isn't exactly a muscle, but exercising different parts of your brain make them stronger. Even spending 30 minutes a day working out the Upper brain can make a difference.
There are some really easy ways to work the upper brain. Read a non-fiction book, 30 minutes straight in a distraction-free environment. Meditate or journal your thoughts. Do some computer coding. Anything requires us to focus thought in an ordered way, works out the upper regions of our brain.
2) MAKE A PLAN
Making a plan in and of itself is a way to exercise your upper brain, but having a schedule sure does help in keeping resolutions. Make sure the plan is realistic for you, and then review it every day, taking time to remind yourself of what your schedule is, and making adjustments as needed.
3) KEEP A JOURNAL
No one can make a change without a few slip-ups along the way. Failure isn't something to worry about either, but reflecting on which days we were successful and which ones we weren't can help us start to see patterns. It could be that certain people or days of the week make us more or less successful, and we can start to plan to adjust accordingly.
Humans have over 7000 thoughts a day, and fewer than 2500 of them are true or important. We will never be able to make big life changes without going through a little pain/struggle... and that includes a thought struggle. Start off the New Year with a brain work out. Make time and space to challenge an automatic thought, urge or reaction that is seemingly important. You might be surprised how it doesn't fit in your plan and takes you away from your goal. Learning to increasingly think top-down isn't just for changing bad habits. It helps in almost every part of our lives from work to relationships, to even faith. Make 2018 an top-down kind of year.
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