Sitting behind a steering wheel makes one experience many
kinds of unbelievable phenomenon.
We lose our minds. We transform in totally different beings
that don’t even resemble who we are in our day to day lives. The simple act of
driving a car transforms us from thoughtful well spoken human beings into angry
mindless dangerously erratic psychopaths.
Every good behaviourist looks for some kind of pattern or
meaning in human activity, so below I present to the public, a typology of the
different kinds of metamorphosis humanity goes through when we become drivers.
When you get into your car - who do you transform into?
1) Angry Road Owner
Every other person out there on the road is just in your
way. You’re not sure where all these people are going or why they have decided
to get there so slowly, but you are decidedly convinced that they have made it
their sole mission to slow you down. When they tap the brakes, it’s to
frustrate you (not because they needed to brake). When they change lanes, they
are doing so to prevent you from travelling at a “normal” speed, 20 km/hr over
the limit. The angry owner of the road easily loses his patience when driving
and becomes overly self-centric. You forget that every car out there has just
as much right to the road as you do, and in midst of your anger, you’re
probably making the road a little less safe for you and everyone else. Try
imagining where other people are going and why they are out there on the road
with you. Putting yourself in the shoes of that Dad driving the minivan full of
kids off to grandma’s house might make it a little easier not to lose your
patience with him.
2) The Mindless Wanderer
You change lanes without noticing. You miss turns you’ve
made 100 times before. If your location isn’t on GPS voice command, there is
very little chance that you will actually arrive at your destination. You’re
happy to be out on the roads, you’re just more consumed with the conversation
with your passengers or the music playing from the speakers than the
responsibility of driving. While driving a car may be second nature, you’ve
forgotten that you’re piloting a 5000 lb weapon and responsible for not only
the safety or every passenger in your vehicle, but of every others vehicle with
which you share the road. You handle pressure well because you never let things
get too intense, but at times your laissez-fair nature can get you into trouble.
Once a week try a silent drive with no background music. If you’re driving to
an unfamiliar location try looking at the directions before you leave. Simple
exercises like these might help you become more aware of details and less
distracted in your driving habits.
3) Dale Earnhart Jr Jr
You’re the next incarnation of this famous race family and
you get wherever you’re going fast. Time spent in the car is time wasted so
every red light you beat and every car you pass is a step towards greater
efficiency in life. Making great time
makes you high on life! Put your speed theory to the test though. Drive to work
tomorrow without speeding and then time yourself. Drive your normal way the day
after and see how much time you save. Figure in the amount of time you would
“waste” getting pulled over for speeding or getting into a fender bender and
then decide if you’re really getting as far “ahead” as you though you thought
you were.
4) Safety Dummy
Alright we get it - it’s impossible to put a price on
safety, and kudos to you for making sure you abbey the rules. But does putting
on two bicycle helmets make you twice as safe as wearing one? Sometimes in an
effort to go slow and signal early, you’ve created so much stress in the angry
and speedy crowd that you prevented one accident but caused two others. Being
cautious is important. Driving 10km/hr below the speed limit and forcefully
getting yourself over to the right lane can be just as dangerous as aggressive
driving. If you need to, go out to some country roads and gain some confidence
at higher speeds and see if you can get comfortable driving with the flow of
traffic.
Now children - let’s go out and share the road together
well.
Fast kids to the front.
Those who are less fast, off to the back right.
We all finish the race together - and go!
Comments
Post a Comment