Texting - because so many people were frustrated with the
convenience of using their voices to talk that we invented a much more
laborious method of communication.
There is almost nothing that makes texting a better way to
have a conversation with another person when compared to talking.
- You have
no tone or expression in your voice to help clarify emotion or intent.
- You have
to focus down at a tiny screen instead of being able to look around freely.
- Typing
messages back and forth takes 2-3 times longer than speaking to each other.
There really is nothing that makes text a superior form of
communication to talk.
So why is it then, that when you or I need to have a quick
chat with someone, we regularly default to text?
Good question.
Many of my reasons (and I will assume some of your reasons as well)
are not actually all that good. It's like popping in an 8-track and driving over to Blockbuster to grab a video.
1) Texting Prevents Me From Losing Control
When I send or receive a text I can choose to control when I
want to read it and when I want to respond. If I don’t like the message, or at
times, if I don’t like the person who sent the message, I can pretend that I
haven’t yet received the text (Don’t forget to turn off those messages received
notifications!) No one is actually too busy to find the fifteen seconds it
takes to read/respond to a text. It’s not that we don’t have time, it’s that we
want to choose when we are going to invest that time. If you were to call me,
you get to dictate time and pace of a conversation. Texting allows me to retain
control over our communication, and it’s just another way I can individualize
my world.
2) Texting Allows Me To Remain Unfocused
I’m writing this as I watch a game on TV and chat away with
my wife in between typing sentences. We’ve trained our brains to feel normal
and comfortable while focusing on multiple things at the same. While
multi-tasking can be beneficial for us during an especially busy time at work,
it’s become a detractor for us in relationships and communication. Instead of
investing a few focused minutes into a conversation with a person that I care
about, I take fifteen seconds breaks from the multiple other things I am doing
to let you know I care… just not enough to stop everything else and focus
solely on you.
3) Texting Gives Me A Way To Avoid Difficult Conversations
There are some conversations that I’m nervous to have; some
that I’m possibly avoiding having altogether. However when I consider that I
could just send a text and avoid all the awkwardness or nervousness that would
be associated with a face to face over a difficult conversation, I default to text.
It’s sad that I would choose an inferior form of communication for some of the
more sensitive conversations that I need to have. Texting has given me a way
out, but it’s one that I really shouldn’t be taking.
Many of us send hundreds or even thousands of texts a day.
We share pictures and experiences with friends who can’t be with us. I’m able
to leave a message waiting for a person to call me if I know I can’t get in
touch with them at the moment. It was designed for fun, convenience and social
uses. It’s also become a bad habit we’ve gotten used to. Many of us need to
touch the little phone icon rather than the message bubble icon and invite
friend out to coffee to share a story, laugh a little and enjoy a good old
fashioned conversation.
And when we feel the little vibration in our jean pocket,
let’s remember that the person standing right in front of us who has taken the
time to be with us, deserves more of our attention than the one who is far away who has chosen to try to interrupt
whatever we are doing with a text.
Challenge yourself this week.
Every text you are about to send - ask yourself why are you
texting or emailing rather than calling?
How many times were you avoiding the conversation with the
person?
Take the 1-week text challenge with see and step up to be a
better form of communication. You and I can listen to iTunes and watch OnDemand
while the rest of them text and 8-track it
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