What are your top three complaints right now?
Work Frustration?
Relationship trouble?
Toronto sports teams that toy with our emotions, only to
leave us broken-hearted at season’s end? (Maybe that’s just me)
Each of us has something that causes us frustration, yet
some people feel the need to tell everyone else around the about their stress.
Others… not so much. While complaining might feel good in the moment, look at
what it does to you
1) COMPLAINING MAKES YOUR PROBLEM SEEM BIGGER THAN IT IS
When
we repeatedly hear about problems they start to feel bigger. Every time you
complain about your problems, you’re convincing yourself that they are a huge
deal. Issues that receive more media attention seem bigger, while ones that
don’t grab the headlines seem to pass.
The world is currently responding to ISIS because of it’s publicity,
while at the same time thousands died in Central Africa conflicts last year,
but few people even know what’s happening because it hasn’t been as
“newsworthy”. What we hear about starts to become a larger deal and seem more
real. If you hear yourself tell others about your problems, they start to seem
bigger than they are.
2) COMPLAINING IS BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH
Complaining
impacts a persons self esteem and we start to feel that we can’t help the
situation. Studies support the idea that even 30 minutes of exposure to
negativity can reduce neuron activity in the brains hippocampus (that part of
the brain required for problem solving). Complaining has been linked to mental
health challenges such as anxiety and depression, and even has links to coronary
heart disease. Does complaining make you upset, or do we complain because we
are upset? Chicken and egg situation here. Both are probably true.
3) COMPLAINING DOESN’T ACTUALLY SOLVE ANYTHING
On
top of the negative impacts complaining has on our lives, complaining has never done anything to help anyone solve
a problem.
4) COMPLAINING MAKES YOU LESS FUN TO BE AROUND
Very few people want to be around a person who is always
telling you how hard they have it. Everyone has trouble in their life. Chances
are that your trouble is no worse than the next person’s trouble. They just
haven’t felt the need to share their strife with you. If you are reading this article on a
computer or smart device, with a latte in hand, then your trouble is actually
much much less than close to 80% of the world who don’t have resources to
afford those luxuries. Complaining about relatively small issues can leave others thinking your self-centred and small minded.
Talking through a problem with a close friend one thing.
It’s a time to vent. It might be a discussion to help make a change in your
life. It’s the occasional moment where you take someone aside and just get your
beef off your chest.
Complaining about how hard your job is (where you earn a
more than fair salary) and how bad your relationship is (that you chose to be
in) is a bad habit that is negatively affecting your life.
Change your focus to all the good things you have in your
life.
Make an effort to talk positively.
Take lots of time to laugh and enjoy the life you have. It’s
the only one you’ll ever get.
For a fun look at the way we whine, check out this “First
World Problems” clip
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